Broken
by xxxMusarockz
Summary: I shook my head and twiddled with my fingers, I didn't know how to tell him. My mind jumped from kissing him, knowing that I was being unfaithful to just simply telling him everything. I swallowed and looked up...Will Musa ever free herself from the past?


**Broken**

I looked out the window as I put the kettle on. It was an average autumn day with the sun shining, making it fairly warm. The many leaves in their soft golden, red and orange hues made the normal grey streets look welcoming with their delightful colours.

I lived in an apartment on the seventh floor, on Magix's main street. Although it was above the busiest street in Magix, it was usually quiet and that's what I liked about this house. Even though there were hordes of people screaming for Taxi's, thief's running away and angry policemen chasing after them, children wailing and the racket of morning shoppers and the on-going traffic, the apartment never got to listen to any of it. The fact that it was quiet was handy for me because I didn't have to worry about my baby waking up just because of the darn noise made by all those trucks and cars.

My baby's name was Rhythm; she was adorable just like her name. Her hair was the same shade of navy that I had and her eyes were also like mine, azure and sparkly. She was only two months old so I was still off from work so I could take care of her. She was surprisingly quiet for a baby. She didn't wail when she woke up and she never used to disturb me in the middle of the night. And to think she was the future fairy of sound and music!

I loved Rhythm to bits and enjoyed taking care of her, but at the same time, I missed my career. I don't think I ruined my chances but you can never be sure. I worked as a recording artist. I was known and famous in many realms across the universe but mostly on Melody, my home planet. It was my dream ever since I was three years old, and now it had finally come true.

I just finished recording my second album, when he burst in one afternoon with my pregnancy reports. I wrote a few songs for my upcoming album during those long nine months and now I was stuck at home, having to turn down all those television presenting offers, offer's to sing at high class clubs, and concert vacancies. Luckily I had a huge fan-base, and they all understood my absence and supported me, which left me feeling satisfied.

Suddenly I heard the sound of the kettle beeping; luckily it was too quiet to wake my daughter up. I reached over and turned it off. I flinched as my finger gently brushed past the body of the kettle. Man, it was hot! I was probably too caught up staring outside the window and watching all the tiny shoppers go by to have been more careful.

It was one of my favourite hobbies actually, a little stupid but what to do when you're home alone with a sleeping baby? It started the week after I had Rhythm. I don't know why but there was this police car chasing another car and then they both stopped outside my house and the police and law breaker started having an argument. But I don't think that was what I was intrigued in...it was something that I saw or someone...

"Hello! Hello, Musa? Magix to Musa!" someone shouted a few inches away from me. I obviously hadn't heard them the first time. I quickly snapped out of it and turned to face the familiar face that I saw everyday.

My lips slowly cracked into a smile. Then I frantically blinked back all my tears, I must have been in a very deep thought because I don't usually start tearing up randomly.

"Hey..." I spoke and then turned around so I had my back to him.

I sensed some movement behind me and heard some rustling. I knew he was up to something but I couldn't put my finger on it. I shut my eyes tightly and let all my tears disappear.

When I opened them again, I only saw the colour white up in my face. I stumbled back and hit his chest; luckily he didn't seem to mind. When that colour was out of my face and I had got over being rather shocked, I blinked and then observed the object in front of me. It took a few seconds for my brain to click into place but then I realised that he had been sweet and bought me a wonderful bouquet of lilies. My favourite. I don't know how he had guessed earlier on our half-date in Alfea but he was right, they were my favourite flowers.

I carefully lifted the flowers out of his hand and smelled them. They smelt divine, just like my mother's perfume used to.

I just stood there, lost in the ever-lasting scent. Then I realised I hadn't thanked him for my present. I turned around and smiled again. "Thanks...I can't believe you still remembered after all those years!" I laughed softly. I then leaned on my tip-toes and kissed him softly on the cheek.

"How could I forget?" he replied sweetly. He kissed me on my forehead and then walked further into the apartment. "I'll be right back, I just want to check on our little Rhythm!" he called and then disappeared into the colourful nursery.

I placed the lilies on the worktop, grabbed two mugs, and made some coffee with the hot water I prepared in the kettle. Unknowingly my eyes wandered back to the window. Maybe I just had a peculiar habit or maybe I was looking for something. The scene looked normal for the rush hour. As usual there was a traffic jam because everyone was returning from work and they road men still hadn't finished fixing the water pipe that had had no progress for a fortnight now.

All of a sudden my heart skipped a beat. I had just briefly seen the thing that got me into staring out of the window. It was muscular figure running across the road with two carrier bags from the grocery store, the figure had the same hair my hands always used to get tangled up in and wore that muscle shirt that I always loved.

Everything was calmly falling in place in my mind but then I got interrupted as I heard Rhythm wail.

I turned around and saw my husband carrying our daughter in his arms and bringing her towards me, she looked just like me when I was younger.

I took her off Jared and he gently pushed me out of the kitchen. I stumbled forwards in my high heels and then glanced back to see what he was doing. He appeared to be finishing off my coffee and preparing a milk bottle for Rhythm.

Jared was a nice guy and I loved him for that. But usually, for no reason I would snap at him, maybe because I didn't like our relationship that much. It was just so boring, no fights, no arguments, nothing. Or maybe I was running away from the fact that he was my husband and my present, but I couldn't feel anything between us. I suppose it was just, awkward? I didn't have to think much about our wedding because it was sort of an arranged marriage which I agreed to, out of loneliness.

I didn't regret anything, I loved Jared and our relationship was much stronger after I had Rhythm. I talked to him about anything and everything, and he would always come up with the right thing to say or comfort me when I was upset. I considered myself lucky to have someone like him with me for the rest of my life, and I'm glad he was there to pick me up when I broke down.

I thought I had forgotten about my past now, but all those memories were still inside my brain and they had just been made clearer when I looked out of the window a few minutes ago. I knew there was something missing in my life.

It had been three years since I married Jared because of my father's obstinacy. Though I, myself had agreed because I had no other option and nowhere else to turn in life. I had gone back to the Harmonic Nebula a year after Alfea, since I couldn't find any fame in Magix whatsoever. But there was also another reason I left, it was because of someone, who broke my heart but I never really got to say goodbye.

"There you go. Drink it while it's hot." Jared said and placed the mug of coffee on the table in front of me. I had Rhythm sat on my lap, so Jared took her off me and fed her. I smiled as I watched the two giggling away and drank my coffee peacefully.

"Ouch!" I cried in pain. Jared quickly looked at me with a concerned expression on his face.

"Are you alright?" he asked, stopping half way through feeding our daughter. I nodded and looked away. "Be more careful, it's not like the coffee is going to evaporate? Are you going anywhere?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

"No...it's just that I have lots of umm...work to catch up on." I lied, knowing that this could soon turn into a heated argument or Jared wouldn't talk to me for a few hours, just because I lied to him. I hated lying to him anyway but even I didn't know why I was rushing.

He shrugged and then got back to tickling Rhythm. I sighed and stood up. Strolling back into the kitchen, I pulled out some stir fry noodles for tonight's dinner. I placed the empty coffee mug into the dishwasher which was underneath the window, and as I was straightening up, my eyes looked through the window yet again. By now, there were less people and the street lamps were alight. The figure that I had spotted earlier was obviously not there anymore, but I felt my heart ache as I considered that fact.

I started to cook the tiny pieces of chicken that I was including in my noodles; it was a long and boring process. I gasped as I felt a gush of cold air hit my neck. I turned around, dropping the spatula, to find Jared breathing in the evening air from the open window. Our eyes locked for a minute; blushing, I turned my head away.

"Rhythm's asleep, so I don't think she'll be bothering us for tonight..." he told me trailing off. I could feel his eyes burning in the back of my head but I was too afraid to face him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a few kisses on my neck; I couldn't help but moan when he sucked on my skin.

He reached over and switched the gas off, so we wouldn't set the house on fire. He then forcefully turned me around and kissed me on my mouth, I didn't respond because I was shocked. This was a whole new side to Jared. It wasn't as if we hadn't kissed before, because we had and it had been proper. But that was usually at night, so I didn't know what had gotten into him. His hands moved up and down my body, which made me feel uncomfortable even though we were married.

Then strangely I started shivering, but it wasn't because of the cold air in the room. This had to stop, it felt awkward. But he grabbed my chin and made me continue kissing him. This time I responded because I felt as if I had missed out on these types of kisses for years. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and explored it. He soon found mine and our tongues danced for a while. Then I wrapped my legs around his hips and he carried to me to the living area.

He placed me on the sofa and ran his hand through my long hair. I couldn't find words to describe the feeling, but I had been through it before. My breath caught in my throat as I felt him unzip my top. I couldn't control my actions after that. I ended up throwing him off myself. I looked at him in disgust, got up and walked hurriedly to the coat stand, grabbed my coat and then went out of the apartment.

I knew I had just left without a reason, but I couldn't stay in that apartment one bit longer. I would come back, but just not tonight. I had to think and find what I was looking for. I reached in my coat pocket and luckily I had left my mobile in there from this morning when I went to meet Layla.

I texted Jared, telling him not to worry and apologised for running out like that. I hoped he would understand. I also put that I wouldn't be back until tomorrow because I needed to be alone for a while.

I hunched my shoulders in the cold and saw the water vapour from my breath float away into the cold night air. The shops were alight with colourful signs, so it wasn't too dark. I entered the park and watched the couples huddle together under the moonlight. The sight made me feel very lonely but I knew I had a loving family at home.

I punched my thumb into the pedestrian crossing button and waited for the green man to appear. When it did, I walked across the road and made my way through an alley way. It smelt really bad because it was the back of the sushi restaurant, so I walked fast until I reached the other side. I stopped for a minute to catch my breath at the other end. Looking up, I gazed at the music studio. It was a large building with a huge music note sign on it, which was painted light blue. I crossed the road again and made my way inside. I went straight into the lift and unlocked the door to my private apartment.

It was chilly inside, so I switched the heating on. Then I plopped myself on the sofa and took a deep breath. The atmosphere seemed to have a familiar scent. I hadn't been here in years, ever since I came here with...

That made sense since I'd bought this apartment before I married Jared. The last person to come into this apartment was Riven, with me of course.

It felt as if someone had just stabbed me. It hurt me that much when I remembered his name. I had been successful with forgetting him, but now the memories of him were fresh in my mind. I stood up and studied the pictures in the living area. They were all of me and Riven, hugging, kissing or just smiling. A massive smile was stuck on my face as I walked around the rest of the apartment and observed the other pictures in big frames which were hung upon the wall.

I stroked my favourite one, which was hung in the most expensive frame. It was the one with me and Riven smiling away in each other's arms. But I knew those days were far behind me, though I had to admit I missed them...and him.

It's not easy to forget the first person you truly love, but it also isn't easy to forget all those fights we had either. Especially the one that ended our whole relationship and made me move back to Melody. I couldn't even remember what it was about, it had been so long. I stared at his gorgeous violet eyes and let a rare sensation spread across my whole body.

I took the picture off the wall and slept with it placed on my heart.

When I woke up in the morning and looked at myself in the mirror only to find myself tear stained. Unknowingly, some more tears escaped my eyes. I hadn't realised that I missed him so much.

I munched on a piece of toast whilst doing the dusting. The rest of the house was clean since a maid would come to clean up the place and restock the fridge every month.

After that, I ended up scrolling through my phone and found out that Jared had called me ten times last night, which was unbelievable. Whenever I randomly walked out the house, he would just ignore it and talk to me when I got back. Could there be something wrong with Rhythm or was he just worried?

My mind was spinning as I walked slowly through the park, being careful not to get knocked over by the skateboarding boys. I spotted a bench a few metres away so decided to sit since I didn't have anything to do as it was a Saturday. That also meant Jared could look after Rhythm because he didn't have to work either. Therefore, I settled on staying a while to empty my mind before heading home. I closed my eyes and let my head dangle backwards. I was enjoying every second of peace I was getting.

'_I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh.  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away.  
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well.  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain...'_

My eyes widened in shock and I bolted up straight. After that, I literally jumped off the bench and turned around and found Riven standing in front of me. My heart started racing, it was one of my favourite songs and he knew that. Was he singing for me? He approached me and carried on singing; this time I joined him but I was very quiet.

_''Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome.  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away.'_

We sang beautifully in unison. He walked around the bench and stood in front of me.

_'You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore.'_

I had forgotten that Riven could sing so well. All the words touched my heart and they made me tingle. I smiled a little and started to sing, only because I knew the words so well and if I didn't sing, the song would be left incomplete.

'_The worst is over now and we can breathe again.  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away.  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight.  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.'_

Then we sang together. It was perfect and the lyrics described my feelings really well. I also felt him staring at me through the whole chorus, not that that put me off.

''_Cause I'm broken when I'm open.  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough.  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome.  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away.'_

Riven started to stroke my hand. I felt tears in my eyes and I moved forward slowly. I shivered in the brief pause and took a deep breath.  
_  
''Cause I'm broken when I'm open and I don't feel like I am strong enough.  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome.  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away.'_

Tears were streaming down my face. Riven was holding both my hands tightly, I felt safe in his grip. I glanced to the side and found a crowd gathered around us, so I smiled and carried on.

_''Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone...'_

I trailed off and sniffled. Riven stroked my hair gently and shuffled forward so we were up close.

_'You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore.'_

I closed my eyes as he finished off the song. The people around us had tears in their eyes too and they started applauding us. Riven laughed slightly and before I could stop myself, I was holding him tightly in my embrace.

He also put his arms around me and we stayed like that until everyone in the crowd had disappeared. After a while, I slowly parted and he wiped my tears away with his thumb. He still looked at same, just a bit older. My eyes sparkled as I acknowledged that fact and his did the same.

"It's been years...how are you?" he asked whispering.

I cracked a smirk. "I'm fine...but I've been missing you..." I replied, looking down at my feet. He lifted my chin up and started moving his head forward. I was also dying to kiss him but I didn't want to be unfaithful, so I turned away when he was a centimetre away from my lips.

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me strangely, "What's wrong?" he asked concerned. "Has it been too long?"

I shook my head and twiddled with my fingers, I didn't know how to tell him. My mind jumped from kissing him, knowing that I was being unfaithful to just simply telling him everything. I swallowed and looked up. I saw his lips, which made me itch to kiss them, but then I remembered Jared and our beautiful daughter. Even if I did kiss him and Jared never found out, I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. Plus, who did he think he was? He couldn't just stroll back into my life and assume that everything was like the way it was before. It had been three years. _Three years!_

"Riven...I'm married and I have a daughter." I explained suddenly and held my breath, waiting for the reply.

I saw his feet stepping backwards, but I didn't blame him. "Oh...that changes things, I thought everything would change..." I put my finger up to his lips; I didn't want to hear it.

"Riven, I'm perfectly happy with my life and I would never be unfaithful to Jared, who is my husband. I know you thought we would be together again, but you had your chance and you lost it! I'm sorry but I have to go now..." I know I was harsh but it was just the truth. What I'd expressed had also lifted a massive burden off my chest and that made me feel alot better.

I felt him grab my wrist and pull me back into his arms. "Forget that...don't you still love me?" he asked. I paused and thought about it deeply.

"I...I don't think so. No." My answer was as simple as that. I had searched my whole heart and I couldn't find any love for him, maybe as a friend but nothing more. "Nothing can change that. I've moved on in life, and now I'm completely free because I've let go of everything that I feel for you. I'm sorry but we can't be together...you have to understand that." I blinked away the tears in my eyes and looked him straight in the eyes. A part of me didn't believe that I had just said that. Despite that fact, I was more worried about whether I'd hurt him.

Though, he gave me a small smile so I inwardly sighed in relief. "It's fine. I just want you to be happy...maybe we can still be friends?" he asked hopefully. I nodded and smiled up at him. In response, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine, flashing me his gorgeous smirk. It felt like the old days but without the same love.

It also felt good to have him back in my life but it felt even better to know I wouldn't be stuck in the past, meaning I could give Jared all the love he deserved and we could finally be a proper family.

I was free now, free to live the life that I had been forced to live. I couldn't believe all it took was some singing and just expressing my feelings to him.

That however doesn't mean that I won't love Riven, because I will. Just not in the same way as before...

* * *

**Didn't really know how to end it, so I hope you approved. I'm sorry that I didn't make them together again, but I just didn't want to make it a cliche! **

**My inspiration was the song Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee. I recommend you listen to it for the full effect, it is a really beautiful song. **

**Reviews would be much loved, because your feedback helps ;) If you don't review, I'll...I'll...damn, I don't have a good threat! **

Until next time,

xxxMusarockz


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